Q&A
■ 在家可以實行瑟谷模式嗎？
世界各地都有人問到這個問題，這裡的社群也有人問。簡短來說，很遺憾地，實務上不太能把瑟谷從學校移植到家庭，但在情感與精神上有很多可以帶進家庭。
先稍微暫停家長的角色，回憶一下你小時候的情景。你的爸媽建立了這個家，創造了一套標準，確立了這個家。他們熟知這個家庭的外觀與感受，這是他們的家。
你來到這個家，獨自一人，慢慢地進入他們打造的情境中。你是一個客人。不論你的爸媽是誰、不論你跟他們之間的關係如何，你是一個客人。你一直都是。15歲、10歲、20歲⋯⋯任何時候你回到家裡都是一個客人。你5歲的時候你更理所當然是個客人。
你知道是誰建立了這個家，誰維持著這個家，而那個人不是你。在這個家裡你是一個客人，希望是一個受歡迎的、被愛的客人——通常是受歡迎並被愛著的——但你仍然是一個客人。永遠別忘記從孩子的角度來看這件事，孩子在家是客人。它無可避免。
在瑟谷學校，孩子是主人，孩子擁有這個地方，他們建立了這個社群，概念上學校這個社群是屬於他們的。
所以主要的差異在此：在家裡，孩子是客人；在學校，孩子是經營機構的這群人之一。這些讓瑟谷之所以鮮活有生氣的細節，永遠無法在家裡擁有。
對孩子來說，可以參與決策如何花用父母賺的錢，是很不自然的事情。當你一下子要徵詢對方意見、一下子要了解對方期望時，那是客人的角色。你不會在家裡有校務會議，不會有一個固定時程舉行法庭來解決誰該對紛爭負什麼責任。家不是一個由孩子作主的地方，父母才是一家之主。
但是建立家庭和學校背後的動機、情感與希望，可以是一致的。信任、信念、尊重、愛與理解孩子是跟你不同、屬於自己的獨立個體等等，這些是家庭和學校可以共通的語言。
（未完待續）
I gathered this important question here in the community. It is a lot of places around the world. The short answer, I’m sorry to say, is there’s not very much in practice that can come from one to the other, but there is a great deal in heart and spirit that can carry from one to the other. For just a moment, stop thinking as a parent, think about / remember your childhood when you were a young, young child. Your parents built this home, they created the standards that decided the home. They knew how things looked and felt. It was their place.
You came into it, and came into your own, slowly, slowly in the context of a place that they built their home. You were a guest in that home. No matter who your parents were. No matter what relationship between you and them, you were a guest. You’re always a guest. When you’re fifty years old you go home you’re a guest. When you’re ten years old you’re a guest. When you’re 20 years old you’re a guest. And certainly when you’re 5 years old, you are a guest. You know who built the home, the household, you know who set it up and it wasn’t you. In the home you are a guest. Hopefully a welcome guest, a beloved guest. Usually a welcomed and a beloved guest, but YOU ARE A GUEST. You can never forget that from the child’s point of view, he is a guest. And there’s no way to escape it.
In a Sudbury school, the child is the host. The school is the place that the child owns. The community of the child is building. The groups, the ideas that the society belongs to him at school.
So you have a difference in these two major points : at the home, you are a guest; at the school, you are part of a lot of people involved in the institution. So the details of the school, the things that make it live and breathe, you’re never gonna have that at home.
It’s unnatural, the child would feel it unnatural to be part of the decision making about how money that’s being earned by the parents is being spent. About how… you know that’s one thing to be consulted, one thing to be to have one’s wish understood. That’s the role of a guest. You’re not going to have a school meeting in your house. You’re not going to have a due process with a partial jury when there are arguments about who is responsible for what. It’s not a place where the child is an owner of the institution. It’s where the parents are the owners.
But the basis and the motive, the emotions, the hopes behind the school and behind the family can be very much the same. Trust, faith, respect, love, understanding that your child is separate and owns himself. Yet, these are things that can translate between the school and the home.
(To be continued)
圖：臺灣瑟谷的公佈欄
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