Q&A
■ 關於說服別人加入瑟谷有什麼建議?
我覺得以現代社會的組織方式,很難跟人談瑟谷。為了觀察對方是否能聽懂,你得要慢慢地、謹慎地提及。
困難的部分是,你交了一個朋友,卻必須在某個點上破釜沈舟地問對方一些可能會結束友情的問題。我所能做到最不失禮的方式,是觀察對方如何和小孩相處。
如果他們以一種意圖形塑小孩的態度跟小孩說話,認為小孩需要訓練、用你可能對待家犬的方式對待小孩,那麼這些人就不是你要提問的對象,這些不是適合問要不要加入瑟谷的對象。把小孩當作物件對待的人,不是你能說服的人。
另一些人會把小孩當成珍貴物品對待,就像把所愛放在寶座上膜拜--然而寶座也是一座監獄。就像其他那些把小孩視為待形塑物件的人,很明顯地也不是我們在找的人。
唯一準備好要跟你一起走這條路的大人,是那些發自內心、出於本能地,用跟你說話的方式去跟小孩說話的人。他們跟小孩說話的方式,一如跟任何人說話一樣。
那些知道如何好好跟小孩說話的人,就可以成為你的友伴。跟他們談瑟谷並不費力,只要讓他們知道有這樣的地方存在,讓他們看到有別的選擇。
你甚至可以跟他們共謀,說「嘿,為何要讓我們的孩子做這些莫名其妙的事?讓他們放一天假吧!」多講個一兩次,你就會得到一個可以一起工作的夥伴。
然而當你已經有了一間瑟谷學校,你就不一定需要說服家長。一旦你已經成立了瑟谷,不用說服家長認同這套哲學,你的工作是不一樣的。
當家長看到小孩在瑟谷是快樂、滿足的,並且沒有失去任何東西,這就是父母唯一想要的。他們不需要理解魔法,他們不需要認同它;只需要了解到,無論瑟谷在搞什麼,這就是適合我小孩的所在。希望這對你們有所幫助。
(全文完)
I think these are things hard to talk about in modern societies the way they are organized. I think you have to bring them up slowly and gingerly in order to see if they are people on the same page as you.
Then comes the difficult part. You’ve made a friend. You have to cross a Rubicon at certain point, and ask the question that can end the friendship, in one form or another. The best thing that I can do generally politely is to watch how these other people are with children.
If they are talking to children like they are to be molded, they’re to be trained, they’re to be treated the way you might treat the household dog, these are not people who you will raise the question with. These are not the people who you’ll ask to join you. The ones who treated a child as an object are not ones who you will convince.
Some are gonna treat the child as a precious object who they love who they put on a pedestal. But the pedestal is also a prison. Others will treat a child like an object to be molded and that is obviously not what we are looking for.
The only adults who are ready, who are capable of walking this path with you are ones who instinctively in their gut talk to children the same way they’ll talk to you. The same way they’ll talk to anyone else.
The ones who do know how to talk to children, these are the ones you can ally with. And it doesn’t take
much. It takes showing them that it exists. Showing them that there’s another way. Even conspiring with them, saying “hey, why do we have to have our children do these ridiculous things? Let’s give them a day-off.” Say that once or twice and you’ve got a co-conspirer ready to work with you.
Once you have a school though, you don’t necessarily need to convince the parents. You don’t need to convince parents of your philosophy once you have a school. You have a very different job.
A parent who sees that children in your school are happy and fulfilled and not losing anything, that’s all those parents want. They don’t need to understand the magic. They don’t need to agree with it. They need to understand, whatever is going on, that’s the place for my child. I hope this helps.
圖:居家隔離也可以開校務會議
Comments